Finally settled down and chilled down abit today. And yup. I'm still holding on to miracles for mommy as long as she's still alive, although the doctor said he can't do anything anymore? So what? It does not mean mommy is gonna give up. No she won't. She's still believing that she'll recover. She'll definitely stand up again and nag at me like how she used to. Cried for like days already. I just can't stop seeing her in this state, she look so weak. Her face... It's getting blacker.. and blacker... On the last post when i blogged about her, She's still fine. She still can talk to me, she still remembers me. But now what? What happened to her now? Why Isn't she responding to us? I can't stop crying. The moment I think about the past, the past when she treat me so good. Thinking about last week, she still can call me when I'm in school and tell me she's bored in the hospital. Thinking about how she's still fine at home watching her fav korea drama while lying on her bed a few weeks ago before she has been admitted to the hospital. She always get me to buy her fav Ice green tea with pearl... I miss it. I miss that feelin'. I miss how she always ask me to take this and take that for her. I was hoping 1 day she can recover and order me again. But can she? I missed how came down all the way to Pcbunk in the past to hunt for me. Or even came down to Era to find me. I still remember how she used to sit at my bed and H2H talk with me despite her being so tired. I even said she is irritating. How can i? I still remember how she fed me my medicine when i'm sick just b'cuz she want me to recover. Now it's my turn to feed mommy..

Yesterday in the hospital... Had a good last talk with her before she go... But i really hope she'll not go. Telling her I'll be taking care of my family and doing good in my studies and asking her to not to worry so much. And also telling her I'll be waiting for her to be recover so that we can go oversea together as a family. I hope we can. I can't seem to sleep so well now. I kept tossing around in my bed right and left. I can't stop thinking. I cried when I'm asleep. I Dream of mommy when i go to sleep. I prayed for her before i go to sleep. Thinking that 1 day god will answer to my prayer. But can mommy wait for it before god ans to me and  other people's prayer? I know she don't wish to let go, don't wish to give up. Looking at her eyes. When she closes her eye. It's all white. She can't even close it well. She keeps looking up... Yup she is forcing herself to be alive. I won't be updating so much cause I really don't have the mood to do so... Telling myself to accept the fact as days goes by but i just got no confidence to do that. My mind is only about mommy with her helpless state... Oh well, Turning in.. You all can follow me at my twitter to my latest update @ http://twitter.com/eforinez or ask me anything @ http://formspring.com/eforinez And rmb to click my Nuffnang.